I Want to Sell My House But My Partner Doesn’t: HELP!

Frustrated couple, hands and fight in divorce, conflict or disagreement on living room sofa at home

When it comes to something as big as selling your house, it can hurt when your partner doesn’t understand (or agree with) your desire to move. If you need to sell fast due to something unexpected like foreclosure, major repairs, medical issues, or a potential relocation, the feeling is worse. More than complicating or delaying the process itself, disagreement can cause emotional strain within your family that spreads to other parts of your life together.

You may be wondering if there’s anything you can do to change your partner’s mind or help them see things from your perspective.

If you’re in the thick of it and in a deadlock with your partner, you’re not alone. This is a situation that many of our clients have experienced during the homeselling process—and have overcome with the right support.

Here are a few ways we’ve seen (and sometimes, helped) them do it:

 

1. Hear Them Out, Seriously

You’ve already done this? Great. We challenge you to do it again. This time, focus on listening to them as if you have nothing to prove and no stake in the game. Your only goal is to empathize and put yourself in your partner’s shoes. By the end of this conversation, you’ll want to know:

  • Exactly how your partner feels about selling your house (confused, anxious, angry, etc.)
  • Why they’re experiencing this feeling about the move
  • What alternatives they might be considering or curious about
  • Anything else they feel comfortable sharing

By giving your partner a full and complete opportunity to express their feelings and concerns, not only will they experience relief from feeling heard and valued, you’ll also know what the root of their concern is. Why does this matter? Because when you know the real problem, you can work toward a real solution.

Here are some practical tips to prepare for and have this conversation:

  1. Agree on a distraction-free time and place to talk about the single topic of selling your home.
  2. Agree on some fair communication rules in advance. No interrupting, no steamrolling, and no stonewalling are good places to start.
  3. Mirror what you hear your partner say, especially when they share their feelings.
  4. Ask them what they need from you to get into agreement about thre future of your home.

When you approach this conversation with the care and time it deserves, it will open a door for a fuller conversation about your options. Your partner will also now be more likely to take your concerns and desires seriously.

2. Have a Brainstorming Session

Now that everything is out in the open (if it’s not, rinse and repeat the last step), take some time to explore all of your options together. This is the time to put everything on the table: the safest option, the riskiest options, and everything in between. Consider anything and everything, even if selling your house is your top option.

It can be helpful here to mentally play-out each option. What would the next year look like if you sold the house to a cash buyer, for example? What would the next five years look like if you stayed and fixed up the property? Spend some time imagining those futures (including pros and cons) with your partner. 

This is often the point where shared values become clearer. Maybe you and your partner both desire a fresh start in another Hampton Roads city. Maybe you’re both ready to downsize, get rid of some baggage, and minimize your footprint. Focus on the things you agree on to narrow down your potential options.

3. Gather the Data, and Make a Decision Together

Let’s say you’ve narrowed down your options down to two. Let’s say your top option is still selling the house for a quick, fair deal so you can make your next move. Now that you’ve fully heard your partner out and brainstormed options, it’s time for each of you to do your research and present the facts.

You know that you want to sell, so here’s what we recommend:

  • Reach out to a reputable fast cash home buyer in your area for a no-obligation offer. Investors like Integrity Cash Home Buyers can provide fair cash offers within 24 hours. All it usually takes is a quick tour of the property and some information from you.
  • With an offer in hand, you’ll be able to present a concrete selling price to your partner. In our experience, this is often all that it takes for a skeptical partner to come back to the table. Once they see the number for themself, and know that they’re an active party in the discussion, the game starts to change. Instead of limitations and costs, they start to see opportunity and potential. This can make a big difference if the previous steps have been done carefully.
  • Invite your partner to ask questions. This is often where we come in. If you’re working with a reputable, local company, your buyer should be explain the entire selling process and answer any and every question that you and your partner have. If there are unresolved concerns at this point, it is likely that your buyer has a solution. While no situation is exactly alike, we’ve seen it all, and we can provide additional insight and perspective that you or your partner might not have considered.

 

With the right communication, data, and support, you and your partner are capable of coming to an agreement about the future of your home. As a family business, we understand that the path is not always easy, and loved ones do not always agree, and that’s okay. Your commitment to doing this process together, and being open to what comes up along the way, is what will make your next move possible.

If you’ve gotten this far and your partner has agreed to sell your house, let’s chat about what’s next. Our friendly and knowledgeable team is helping families throughout Hampton Roads, just like you, who are navigating this process. We’re here to answer your questions, give you a fair offer on your home, and help you move forward with integrity: 757-276-3322.

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